Ah... family.

I spent Thanksgiving visiting family in Corpus Christi, Texas... working from my remote studio and spending time with my parents, brothers and daughter... and, as I do, when I travel, I usually swing by the Total Wine and More - convienently located on the way to my family's home in Corpus. While there, I'll grab a couple of bottles of vodka or some wine, since my parents do not drink...

Now, on this particular trip, I grabbed two bottles of quality Texas vodka. One from the brand Deep Ellum... and another from Dripping Springs - located in the Texas Hill Country. After arriving Wednesday evening, I waited until Kyla had retired for the evening, and my parents and I were watching Hawkeye on Disney+, and I decided to pour myself a drink or two just to unwind. The following day, Thanksgiving, I had some more adult libations to make the day and evening with family go more smoothly, and, the bottle ended up being kicked. So, I tossed it.

Or, I thought I did. More on that later.

Black Friday, we took a field trip to the Rio Grande Valley to check out something I wanted to see... and it was a long drive. When we got back, it was later in the evening. My dad had gone to bed, as had Kyla, and I was up... unwinding... so I opened the new bottle and made myself a drink. Then, I went and watched some stuff on YouTube... finished that drink and thought I'd make one more drink - a night cap - as it were - to wrap up my day. I heard my mom was still up... doing some laundry or whatnot but paid it no attention... because she's somewhat of a night owl at times when I visit...

Now, I normally stash my stash o' drink in a room which isn't usually used at my family's home... and that's where I stashed the bottle this time.

When I went to refill my drink.... the bottle which I had just opened... was GONE. In its place - was the empty bottle... which I thought I had thrown out the day before. It was a different brand, that's how I knew it was the bottle I thought I had trashed.

Knowing my mom was awake, I knew exactly what had happened...

MY MOM had taken the bottle of BOOZE and hidden it, and swapped it out with the EMPTY BOTTLE!

At first, I thought I'd be mad... but how can you get mad at a WELL PLAYED MOVE. I knew my mom didn't like me drinking to excess... she was just doing what moms do.

So, I went back to the living room, turned off my laptop and shut off the TV and prepared to go to bed. I went back to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water, and encoutered my mom, who was finishing some laundry...

"God bless you, Toby," as I laughed a little. "Yes He does," I said.

I went to bed.

The next morning, I came down with the almost empty water bottle... my dad was in the kitchen with my mom... I went to dump the little bit of water out of my bottle into the sink, and I faked taking a WHIFF of what was in the bottle.

"Phewww!" I said "Breakfast drink of champions," I said to my mom who looked at me as I drained the water out of the bottle... Mom was clearly perplexed.

My dad goes, "what was that?"

I go "Mom knows... if you are gonna out-fox the fox, you have to be smarter than the fox..." I said, implying that the bottle was filled with VODKA and not water.

My mom got upset, "I worry about you, son...."

That's when I laughed and said, "Its water, mom... but last night, that was a well-played move, so I'm not mad at you!"

My dad laughed. Mom said something about praying for me when it comes to the drink and we went about our day...

... but you know what, in the end she won. I didn't have another drink while in Corpus, and I still don't know where the bottle of vodka ended up!

Well played, mom. Well played.

Toby Knapp

About Toby Knapp