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Hayden Panettiere opened up about life since the tragic passing of her younger brother, Jansen, in an emotional first interview since his death on Wednesday (September 18).
The Nashville star sat down with People to discuss how the loss impacted every aspect of her life, and what she's been up to since that fateful day in 2023.
"He was my only sibling, and it was my job to protect him. When I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul."
Jansen Panettiere passed away suddenly in January 2023 after suffering complications from an "undiagnosed heart condition." The beloved brother, son, and friend, was just 28-years-old when he lost his life. Panettiere recalled paparazzi taking photos of her leaving her brother's funeral and how those pictures led to a greater struggle.
"I had to see horrific paparazzi pictures of myself coming out of Jansen’s funeral, which happened in a very private place, and it was shocking. My agoraphobia came out, which is something I’ve struggled with in the past." The 35-year-old actress spent months in the privacy of her own home, and, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself to get outside and keep moving, never felt good enough to leave.
"I didn’t feel confident to put on clothes and get out of the house, but I also knew that I needed to get out and keep moving or I’d never stop looking and feeling this way. It became a destructive hamster wheel of, do I feel good enough to go out?"
She was eventually introduced to personal trainer Marnie Alton who encouraged her to take walks that ending up solving a lot of her self-esteem and stress issues following the death of her brother.
"When something that massive has happened to you, you really learn to pick your fights and just not let the little things upset you. Because once something so horrific, so deep, so catastrophic happens in your life, there's not much that can really rock you." The Remember The Titans alum unveiled that she will never fully recover losing her loved one, but is attempting to work on herself and new creative projects as time passes.
"I will always be heartbroken about it. I will never be able to get over it. No matter how many years go by, I will never get over his loss."
Panettiere is gearing up to release her highly-anticipated, forthcoming film, Amber Alert, out September 27th.